Open Hands

I took a long break from regular blogging because we’d been going through some super trying times and extreme darkness that required me to step away from the screen. It was the opposite from the trying times in previous years that God used blogging to process through.

Then when I came back last year and adorned my beloved Wix site I realized all the fancy touches could not replace the community I had missed from before (no matter how hard I tried to get the comment feature to work–it would not).

Now that you have a bit of backstory as to my return–and I mean the skeleton version, haha–without further ado, I am jumping into FMF this week to kick off a new season.

Our word for this week is “RECEIVE”. I made a reel for next week and the word Kate gave us nailed it.

If you’re not familiar with Five Minute Friday, we take a word given and set a timer for five minutes, then stop when it’s over. Here goes!

Start:

I read Kate’s story about receiving and was shocked to see such similarities. I too had surgery (gallbladder removed) on Dec. 20th and could not do the normal tasks for a bit. I required assistance, which meant, at times I felt utterly helpless. I am thankful for a God who sent me a husband to help, and family and friends who care. Just yesterday I was chatting and admitting to my sister I find it hard to ask for help.

I am a first-born child and also just a helper in general, sometimes I overthink about others because I wonder what else could be done, though I know prayer is key. Intercession comes naturally. It courses through my veins. I want to give. But I also need to receive. This is not easy. It means I cannot put up a pretense as if I have it all together, not that I try.

Maybe being strong has even become a habit, eh?

I don’t like to be broken. To feel sad. I have overcome so much. I wonder if I let others in more than I’d like to, if they might think I am broken when I am not, so I keep a lot to myself and desire to receive from God straight from Himself, because the Word tells me man fails but He cannot. But to receive, maybe I need focus on the fact since He won’t let me down, even when I am vulnerable.

STOP.

Speaking of receive.

Today marked five years since this memory and then tonight my sister in Christ surprised us with extra from her kitchen. God is so good. I don’t feel like I deserve His love, but I know it’s not about me and how I feel, but about Him, His purpose, and that HE loves perfectly.

Thanks for stopping by to read.

To watch my vlog trailer click below.

More videos coming soon!

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