The days I awake surrounded by light externally are magnificent. You know, as we approach summer where I am located, this is a reality before 6am.
I must remind myself that even on the days when light seems to stand afar in the distance, it is still there, I just can’t see it yet.
Life at thirty-seven is like clay. Every year prior I have held fast to plans I so thought were from God Himself that I desired to assist Him in making them happen.
I still believe that He has made me who I am–implanted those things in my heart, but the striving and focus on doing certain things and being certain ways…
“By being faithful…”
“By being consistent…”
“By being obedient…”
…steals the strength He gives if we only surrender the process to Him.
Over and over again He is teaching me to surrender anything of myself, I believe, so that He may get the complete and total glory.
I tell myself I do not want any of this glory but maybe glory is less about the shiny pure white light manifested by His presence, and more about how holy, absolute and in control He is.
There is no hardship in accepting He is in control and we are not; there is only hardship when one doesn’t.
There is only hardship when trust is lacking. This is when striving to make things happens comes into play.
But thirty-seven is the year of softened clay.
Traveling across state borders, breathing in a spiritual wilderness air, laying down my plans in surrender to His…
My faith has been challenged. My faith has been tested. I feel honored to be His child and cannot claim any glory for being here at this point in my life where though darkness appears to surround me, I am stronger and more hopeful and full of life than ever before.
At times it has looked like the sun wouldn’t come up.
I’ve noticed something about despair and hopelessness, and I’ve noticed something about faith and hope.
They can come from the same mouth in a short amount of time, yet God doesn’t change.
How good is He that He would have such mercies on us!
“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.”Helen Keller
I was just telling my friend last night I am in a season where it hasn’t been as easy for me to just sit and soak in the Word.
Not because I do not desire to, but because I believe God is teaching me it is already and has been written on my heart.
In the hardest of times I have not been able lately, to pour over the words as I used to, but I find myself getting things done rather than sitting and laying.
Not that rest is bad, and boy I love to write about rest–but I used to have a hard time getting up from that rest.
I used to have a hard time getting up out of the bed at all. Look how far He’s brought me, that His Spirit is empowering me from within to take the scriptures I have read since I was a little girl, and to live them out.
“…to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise…” 1 Peter 1:4-7 nasb 1995
Where I am, I cannot see the end result, but I have faith that as long as I stay on God’s path which is a daily relinquishing of myself to His plans and purposes for my life, that I will continue to experience life to the fullest.
I wish people could see how miraculous He is daily, in every single thing. That we do not have a hand in this thing called eternal life, but it is by His breath we exist, and by His mercy we get to live.
No matter where you are, keep your trust in the Lord. It is He who determines the day, but how great it will be when we let ourselves be guided and strengthened by the peace that comes when we let our grip on the wheel go.
How beautiful and mighty my God is!