We were thankful for the rain Monday morning. The dry ground was thirsty! I was glad the girls got their pumpkins carved the evening before, just in time. We don’t celebrate Halloween as its roots are not even close to God-honoring, and in my conviction, I cannot celebrate it, but I did wait for the pumpkins to go on sale for the girls to do their own little decor since God himself made pumpkins.
I started the day off early by cooking my husband a power bowl style breakfast with turkey bacon and blueberries. Tossed some black beans in the eggs for extra energy.
My youngest got off to school, and of course not too far into the morning once the sun came up all the way, the dogs were ready to go back out.
Back to the couch for some study in the Word. My friend loves to nestle up to me. He has these bouts a few times a day. It’s not all calm, trust me. This is round one, haha.
Since finding out I have gallbladder issues, I am only supposed to eat turkey, fish or chicken. I bought some ground turkey, cooked it thoroughly, boiled my green beans in a couple teaspoons of chicken broth, then combined the two and set on a low simmer. Once the pasta was finished, I combined all three. It doesn’t look the most appealing, but it tasted amazing. *Edited to add, this dish is actually from Tuesday evening I believe. I’ve been cooking so much I lost track.*
About midday while the littles I watch were napping, I went out to snap more photos because the beauty of fall is a gift to me, and since my birthday happens to be on its first day, I felt the Lord who created me, couldn’t have chosen a better time.
The evening came and I wanted to catch the coziness of our quaint space which I thank God for. We are merely travelers passing through this world, but I am thankful He allowed us to move here into this little pocket in the woods which reminds me much of our Kentucky house but with the four rooms we had always desired. This is the first time the kids have ever had their own bedroom.
When I think of the beauty of autumn it only gives me one more reason to add to the countless others to be thankful to Jesus. He thought to make such things which blows my mind; I was glad to capture. The detail of creation is just another reason I can’t see how people might think there is no God.
He is obviously an on-purpose Creator…an on-purpose all mighty God!
“Yet hear now, O Jacob My servant,
And Israel whom I have chosen.
2 Thus says the Lord who made you
And formed you from the womb, who will help you:
‘Fear not, O Jacob My servant;
And you, Jeshurun, whom I have chosen.
3 For I will pour water on him who is thirsty,
And floods on the dry ground;
I will pour My Spirit on your descendants,
And My blessing on your offspring;
4 They will spring up among the grass
Like willows by the watercourses.’
5 One will say, ‘I am the Lord’s’;
Another will call himself by the name of Jacob;
Another will write with his hand, ‘The Lord’s,’
And name himself by the name of Israel.
There Is No Other God
6 “Thus says the Lord, the King of Israel,
And his Redeemer, the Lord of hosts:
‘I am the First and I am the Last;
Besides Me there is no God.
7 And who can proclaim as I do?
Then let him declare it and set it in order for Me,
Since I appointed the ancient people.
And the things that are coming and shall come,
Let them show these to them.
8 Do not fear, nor be afraid;
Have I not told you from that time, and declared it?
You are My witnesses.
Is there a God besides Me?
Indeed there is no other Rock;
I know not one.’ ”
Isaiah 44:1-8 NKJV
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The sunlight either said hello sooner than I expected or I lost track of time since getting up so early which allowed a few things to be accomplished before all the kids got out the door for school.
Not that my two olders need me anymore–and I wasn’t sure how long it’d be before I could say such words, but now I can praise the Lord; they’ve been getting up earlier than even their mama prefers, fixing their hygiene, lunches and the like.
This more-than-a-mere-morning, my Bible sat waiting for me, as did other to-do’s not too far off, though I made them sit still for while longer before gathering all my items and heading to the deck to enjoy the autumn weather before the heat of the day–because it’s those in betweens where the sun will cook you while the cool evenings will keep your cardigan’s hook, your best friend.
I have pitter-patted into this post, possibly from being so away, as I’ve found writing when prompted to be more my style than a daily task regardless–which could change, but tis the season.
I wanted to talk about it because, well, it’s been at my bedpost lately. I’ve been pondering on what feels like I swallowed a dose of helplessness and how when we feel this way, God still hasn’t changed. Mind-blowing, isn’t it?
I’ve been mostly healthy all my life–I just turned 37–and out of nowhere I began having gallbladder attacks, I guess they call them, from being inflamed, or “horribly mad at you,” in the doctor’s words.
So, needless to say, I have been watching what I eat instead of being able to fly by the seat of my pants. If that method got me here–don’t follow in those footsteps, oops.
Not that I over-ate or went crazy. Honestly, portion control and plain common sense have pretty much been how I live, but either way, two trips to ER in a week happened and would have more had I not gritted and bared the agonizing pain while praising and trying to think happy thoughts amidst it all.
Through this process of learning what I can eat, might be able to eat, and definitely CAN NOT EAT right now, it’s been fun to get back in the kitchen after another but unexpected move ) our cute townhome had mold we discovered).
Though this photo looks yummy, my gut wound up saying no to beef roast. Below, I used leftover homemade chicken noodle as an excuse to make “sort of Zuppa Tuscana” soup. It had chicken rather than sausage (which I cannot eat) and I added in cooked potatoes after the fact, so the only thing I found off enough to write about was the noodles.
This meant it had more a chicken gnocchi texture instead, but it was still good. Since eating this I have been cutting back on milk-based products too. The pain from the gallbladder attacks were coming every other night, so I was desperate to cut out whatever might be a trigger.
I hope it doesn’t seem I am all over the place today. I haven’t been very good lately at writing authentically raw, and I think that’s because for the first time I am writing not from pained places but I have been able to wait upon the Lord in some things as He works in me during trials, and write after, or not at all (yet?)
This is not to say those who write in their pain are less strong. I actually long to write this way again, but for whatever reason the Lord has made this past year different for me. Maybe it was a place in my life I needed to grow in. Maybe I leaned heavily into the writing process itself, instead of prayer first, though I will say I feel I have not let prayer go ever, entirely. Even on pained days, even on good days, I “feel” prayer has always been a love, and natural to me. I wish it were this way for everyone.
Weakness. About that.
Though I mean physically, weakness comes in all shapes and sizes. When I am laying on the bed in hours of what seems like unending pain, I cry to Jesus. I rock back and forth to Jesus. I squeeze my husband’s hand–to Jesus be the glory that I have a hand to hold; not everyone does.
Things I might have ever taken for granted; I hope I no longer do. Even when it came to two different types of medication–one at the ER and one at home–my mercy and understanding for how it can be that a person might get hooked on a painkiller, has grown.
Because of this, I am severely watching my diet so I can hopefully avoid the gut twinge that cues me in on, “This is going to be a long night.”
I greatly appreciated The Transformed Wife’s post for other proven methods of helping maintain health, other than pain medication. She suffered through years of gut issues, so her recommendations are substantial.
Regardless of anything, I know my life is in God’s hands, but I also know taking care of the temple He’s given is my responsibility to an extent.
“My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
PSALM 73:26 nkjv
It doesn’t matter how weak I feel in my bones. My spirit man is strong, but I can and will give honor to my Father for this too–because without His help, even this would not be so. I have had days when my spirit man felt nothing but a gasp.
If this is you too, take heart. He is never changing, despite our changing days.
The recipe above was recommended by a friend.
Since I just made this today, I can’t say my body’s reaction yet but I assuming it will be a good one since there was zero grease involved.
I will probably be adding more meals to the blog over time.
If you have a gut-friendly, gallbladder-friendly recommendation comment below (you have to create an account & log in)…
I just sent out 13 congratulations to those who signed up for the Writing from Rest course. I still can’t believe we did it!
Do you all know how huge this is?
If you know me, you know I stink at finishing things.
I have no problem starting things. When I was 12 I started cross stitching, most of them I never finished. When I was 16 I had projects I could have delved into but left them lying in the dust because I believed lies that I didn’t have what it took.
When I was 18 I ran away from my problems: AKA I didn’t finish tying up loose ends. When I was 19 I didn’t finish out my first year working as an assistant manager for a retail clothes store in a mall.
When I began college at the age of 25, I quit over a year into it because the business part of creating bored me. Giggle, chuckle, squawk.
Okay I am done. All that negative remembering tuckered me out.
So here we are. We finished. Together. Can we like, tango or something?
That is, if you were one of my #WFR “students” – if not, you can always sign up and get the full course emailed to you in back-to-back batches. Then you will find out what the freebie is.
Hint: It is useful, can be posted nearby, and will surely help you keep a solid foundation when it comes to writing & blogging.
Also, if you sign up, week 10 tells how you can be part of the new blog by sharing a #WFR testimonial. This provides fresh and honest feedback for others while promoting your own blog!
So what else is going on? Ah yes. It is #TeaAndWord Tuesday!
But before that, here is an update:
New blog relaunch before next week (yes I know, 3rd time’s a charm right?)…
I am now accepting testimonials for the #WFR course. This helps us both technically!
I will be looking for book reviewers down the road.
Need a buddy to split a candy bar with. Just joking. Wanted to see if you were really reading this…
LINKUP!!!! I can’t wait for you to see the #TeaAndWord update. Something refreshing is brewing… the blog may be down for a day or two coming up. If it does, it is just the transition process.
Love and prayers to all of you. I will be going on a sharing frenzy in the next couple days, taking advantage of the blog downtime. Because of this tech stuff, the linkup will only be for 24-48 hours this week!!! You rock. xoxo
The water trickled down his face and the suds washed away. I pulled the plug and wrapped my one year old bundle of joy boy up in a warm snuggly towel and carried him downstairs.
Leaning my back up against the wall, I sat in his room and watched him play choo-choo trains. We were buds him and I. He was an answer to prayer. A prayer uttered many times over, even when God wasn’t the first One I was seeking.
Marrying doesn’t necessarily heal lonely heart issues, and in my own marriage we had a lot of growing up to do at the time. But this little child filled my belly with laughter and gave me a deeper purpose in life.
It was our first house we owned. A log cabin in the country. A dream, but a nightmare. We assumed since my husband served his country in the US Marines that he would have no problem getting a job when he got back home from his 15 month deployment away from us.
We bought this house, but our own “houses” were in need of much repair.
To read the rest of this story about climbing up out of depression, visit my lovely friend Carolina’s blog at www.cisneroscafe.org and be sure to check out the rest of her place.
I met her over a year ago in the writing community and she has been such a blessing to me as I am sure she will be to you. You can also click below:
I nervously sat down in one of the rear rows with my husband and children. The atmosphere was nice, people were friendly. The music and harmonious voices flowed up throughout the sanctuary and all I could think about was, “Are my kids behaving?”
Trying to calm them down to no avail, I took their little hands and whisked them down the hallway while the worship went on without me.
Inside, my chest burned. Jealousy of the kid-less couples swam in my head and I hadn’t a clue how opposite of Christ my attitude had morphed into. It was a slow fade I suppose.
We may feel like the little blue engine that chugs up a steep hill, but remember we are not steam-powered. We are Spirit-powered.
We can trust God to help us. He does not leave us to fend for ourselves.
Have you ever been called to do something specific but found it hard to trust God completely in your situation?
Have you ever felt change was on its way but you weren’t sure of all the details and felt tempted to try and formulate a plan “just in case?”
There’s a time for rest and waiting and then there’s a time for action. Sometimes we may feel like we can’t tell the difference, leaving us unsure and wishy-washy in our thinking.
Choosing to dwell on what we do not know will leave us depleted. Where we dwell will become our well. –Tweet this
This drainage runs out and seeps onto those around us if we are not careful, and I want to encourage you today if you are in this place, that seeking God will not be in vain, but not seeking Him may cost you a hefty price. He wants to guide you. It is not a burden to Him!
What kind of well do you drink from, sweet friend?
We can ask our Father to help us have His wisdom and guidance in our lives. After we go to Him in prayer, believing He really will help us, we need to be clear-headed and sure His answer is on the way so that we can be looking for it.
“I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God. Bend down and listen as I pray.” Psalm 17:6 NLT, David prayed full of faith, expectantly.
His answer may not be how we envisioned it. It may be easier or harder than we thought.
One thing I have learned so far is to not box God in with my ideas, but to present them to Him.
We are in this place right now where God shut the door to us putting our kids in public school right now after we prayed for His wisdom. It seemed like the logical thing to do since my daughter was having a hard time, but not long after the prayers went up in direct manner of expecting to be rescued from this hardship in our home, He answered.
His answer was not the immediate fix that sounded so “right” to us.
The answer was more like, “Hang in there, I am with you. You keep loving your kid and being as patient as you can with my help, and I will take care of the outcome.”
Not only did I feel peace in my heart about this, but He confirmed it in other ways.
My husband’s car which is being worked on still isn’t fixed so we are still down to one car. We also had an outbreak of ringworm in our house shortly before we prayed about this and wanted to make sure everyone was better 100% first.
Those rescue kittens who passed it to us never did apologize by the way. It’s okay though!
But do you see how a lack of peace in trying to force a situation to happen prematurely can wreak havoc inside of one’s heart? I know me. If we would have tried to go ahead with switching from home school to public school in that season, I would have became more stressed which was the very thing we needed help with in the first place. God knows best.
Oh, I do think God is softening my heart to all this change to come. That is where I do feel peace. Because of this, I am seeing that it is okay to not have all the details figured out, but the importance of a heart of surrender.
And God is so good, He even gave us a great month of schooling this January. We saw improvements in our child’s reading and in attitudes.
My word of encouragement for you today, sweet mom, is that no one else knows what the Holy Spirit is speaking to you but you and Him. Let this intimate relationship with your Father be just that; intimate.
Intimacy brings trust.
Trust that Father will lead through each and every single day of your life which is given as a gift and sustained by the very breath of God Himself. ( Gen. 2:7, Psalm 33:6, Job 33:4)
The God of the universe holds your life in the palm of His hand. He will bring it all together somehow, someway.
Here is the upcoming schedule for #TeaAndWord Tuesday Linkup @5pm! We are back on next week and I am so excited. I have missed this, friends. I hope you can swing by.
My last post was all true. An amazing peace has swept my heart away. I just talked to Matt on the phone about how in awe of God I am that things have totally taken a 180 from these past few months in our lives.
Mentally, emotionally, spiritually…even physically I have been motivated to eat better and work out daily for about 15 minutes of straight cardio like I used to when I was a fitness trainer (and it works!)
But what happened before that? What happened before a certain book entered my mailbox and before things started looking up?
Well, there was a lot of crying and lack of positivity in our home. I was very emotionally reactive. My feelings on my sleeve, I was led by them.
I never realized how much of an emotionally driven writer I was until after I read Kelly Balarie’s Fear Fighting book.
This led to a short blog break.
In this time that God has pulled me away to focus my energies on just being [and with Him, in each moment], I have felt relaxed and at peace.
It is not as easy for me to sling the words out onto the white screen when I feel at peace. Funny eh? Either way I felt drawn to write about where we are right now.
I wanna’ be like, “Hey, I feel awesome. It is hard to explain why. Almost too much for words. Just believe me and call it good. See you soon [hugs].”
But God wants me to be brave and just say what I need to say, unedited and all, just like if you were here with me, friend to friend, over a nice bowl of soup and crackers.
I wrote here about how I was concerned about hopping back on, but then again if I am to do what I feel He is leading me to do I need not let fear cripple me.
I can trust that the times of rest are good and serve a purpose, that God will be in the other parts of the story too. – Tweet this
Once again, to be honest, I hesitated writing this out. What I am about to say, I mean…because it seems almost too good to be true after I just shared part of my mommy meltdown with you all.
It has me shaking my head!
How could I bounce back so quickly? Wouldn’t it be better to just avoid the topic and the “how I am doing,” for fear of sounding fake?
I can’t avoid it because it is who I am. I tell the good, the bad and the u.g.l.y.
I will tell you, friend, I am doing well. Better than before. I have been so blessed by your prayers!!!!!!
So blessed and like I was pulled from the rubble of these past months.
God caused the rubble to have a purpose. He took what the enemy wanted to use to cripple me, and made it actually have a use! – Tweet
All the moments I thought I couldn’t handle this life any longer.
All the moments I missed my husband so badly I couldn’t see the good right then. That I must “fix” this life we have somehow made for ourselves. That maybe we got it wrong. Maybe we hadn’t heard right. ( How many times have I heard this by the way…to many to count!)
“The LORD directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?”
– Proverbs 20:24 NLT
When people ask, “What are you going to do?” Sometimes it takes telling people you don’t have the immediate answers, but that it’s going to be okay. And then you believe it even more yourself after the words come out.
“Faith literally makes a way.” #wordpower #movingmountains – Tweet the truth
You speak hope and life, you will reap it. You speak despair and death, you reap that.
I listened to the enemies lies. Let them get louder than God’s there for a while. Let doubts steal my peace instead of continuing to walk in faith, trusting God would take care of the rest while I was doing my part in this blessed gift-of-a-life I have been given. I was about to give up on homeschooling. I was about to give up on trusting God for seeing us through. I was formulating my own plan.
I went to some dark places mentally. I was not fixed on God. I now realize how bad it gotten because I guess I was in so deep the red flags weren’t even visible anymore. But it got bad enough I finally told someone.
I thought I was the only Christian who struggled. Isolation and all that ugly stuff the enemy feeds you makes you think you are the only one. After I told someone what I going through, they showed compassion. I saw I wasn’t alone. That I wasn’t crazy or past the point of Hope in my situation.
When you open up, the light pierces the darkness. Sword in the stone. Sword in the hardened. In the weary. In the hopelessness. – Tweet this
God’s Sword, His Words, cut into the crap [literally] of the enemy and finally one becomes free in that area by the Truth of that Word and the Grace from the Father, which is all stronger than all the forces of Hell against us combined.
God’s Grace & Truth cuts into the enemy’s crap-loaded lies. – or Tweet this
Lies like, “Meghan, you heard God wrong and have completely wasted precious time. There’s no way you all will ever catch up.” Or, “This situation you are in, having no car for weeks on end, deciding to keep homeschooling for the rest of this year,…people are just going to ______ or you all will end up _____.”
I don’t even know what I would put there now but not long ago there was cosmic junk floating in that space.
When I thought I had to have all the answers, for our future, education and replies to good-intended folk, I was literally gripped with fear, ready to do anything just to have answer.
But when I live from a place of, “God’s got it, don’t worry about me friend. I don’t so why should you?” stance – the peace just expands inside of me.
I shared this meme before last year and I feel led to share it again, only I think it would have served me well to have tacked this up in my room at the foot of my bed so when I open my eyes it would be the first thing I would see!
In realizing not everything depends on me, the Holy Spirit gently beacons me to call on the Father to move. Move where I can not see. Where I can not go. He is all-knowing, all-present and ever capable.
Where I am weak, HE is strong.
This is the truth which rang in my lie infused ears recently.
Like a good friend knocking on your door to see how you are doing in the wake of an emergency, so words are #truth are. –Tweet
Fear Fighting, the little blue book with the empty bird cage which made me think of Jesus’ empty tomb, came at a time when God knew I needed it.
I read that book and felt not-so-defeated.
I read that book and remembered Hope.
I remembered I loved reading the Bible, that it was not a burden.
I remembered I loved spending time with God and writing my thoughts and prayers down and living my days out of that.
I remembered God was mightier than ol’ slue foot.
I remembered I was not the only one who had been trapped in a dark place before and had to call out for help to be rescued.
I remembered I didn’t have to hide.
I remembered what awesome and blessed things awaited me away from the demands of the world and in the very presence of my Father.
I really wanted to use bullet points today, can you tell?
One day maybe I will go further into how dark that place was because maybe there is someone out there who needs to know they are not alone too. Right now I want to sing!
Praising the Father Releases Inner Peace
I can praise my Father and He will lift me up. Did you know the Bible says He dwells where praise utters from our lips? (see Psalm 22:3)
This is good news for a mom of 3 who feels the sting of loneliness frequently.
Relearning how to let God fill up all those places in my heart where I am vulnerable for attack, is huge.
“As I praise, He fills. As I trust, He assures me. As I still my heart, He does the fighting for me.” #fearfighter – Tweet
Peace is a fruit of the Spirit. Being at peace gives way to more fruit. I am not sure why I put a photo of my animals right in the middle of talking about peace. Maybe it’s because they bring me peace too.
I can see why the enemy doesn’t want Christian’s hearts and minds at peace and at ease. We get a lot done when we are not confused, bogged down, and have energy and vision!
Where I thought all was hopeless, Hope came crashing in. I don’t know exactly how my kid’s school year will be next year but I do know this: right now in this moment, God is here. He is helping us.
“Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed.”
Prayers are being answered. I am seeing it with my own eyes.
Our nine year old daughter had numerous days this January of 2017 where she chose to try and practice reading without me even having to ask let alone, plead.
Progress has been made, almost so much that is has made up for the end of November-December where we took blow after blow in our home and thought we were “done for.”
Things aren’t perfect. Even today just before I was going to write and share with you how God moved, was a hard Monday.
But God was in it and He has helped me how to remember to look for His goodness even in the valley days.
I am surrendering the perfect this and the perfect that as He calls me into rest[oration] this 2017. It sure takes a load off. I am His. You are too.
God bless you if you stuck around through this uber-long piece. It means so much to me that you care enough to see what God is up to in my life. He is up to good in yours too, friend. I am praying for you!