He just knows

Over two months ago out of nowhere one night I thought I was dying in bed. To the best of my knowledge, I thought I was having a heart attack. We dialed 911 and the first responders came out and did an EKG. The pain was fierce so they went ahead and took my to the ER but come to find out it wasn’t what I thought at all.

My gallbladder was inflamed.

Every other night for two weeks straight I had the most horrific pains that lasted up to six hours at times. I did have a couple more ER trips, but eventually fought through the pains, and then my regular doctor was able to get me some help to hold me over as needed, so I could at least sleep.

So needless to say, September and October were hard months moving from the townhome due to mold, followed by these excruciating pains that felt like childbirth that never ended. All the sudden, the pains let up when November began, and it was almost as if they’d never happened.

I found myself wanting to slide backward on healthy eating, but I knew good habits were worth keeping so I continue to keep away from the drive throughs minus a couple times for a fish or Panera’s signature chicken breast.

My wonderful primary nurse has helped me a lot. She is located at a place I can only describe as a heavenly doctor’s office. Not your typical set up. It’s a little log cabin and hardly anyone is ever in there, just her and maybe one or two others at a time, and she prays with me too. She said the doctor there lets her operate how she feels led; to take her time with each patient, which is why she wanted to go into that line of work.

She has allowed me and others to meet her there on off times as well. I remember the first time I went in and you could hear a pin drop. The smell of the wood and seeing the old timey gadgets. I felt like I might see Doc Baker from Little House walk around the corner. I linked there so you could read his story. I love learning about others. Stories are powerful!

Upon testing me, they discovered a gallstone .6mm. I had prayed there would be none, but I can say I truly believe if there had not been one found, I would not have had made arrangements for them to remove my gallbladder because the pain had subsided, and I felt normal.

I made the appointment for about a month out to accommodate various things and work schedules, and so here I am Dec. 21, 2022 recovering from yesterday’s surgery that I am in fact thankful happened. The surgeon did say he was glad they took it out when they did because it was pretty infected and if these things are not dealt with can lead to other problems.

They took my blood pressure and the nurse said, “Wow, you’re not nervous?” I just told her I trusted the Lord. I had been through so much and at this point I knew He was completely sovereign–nothing caught Him off guard. If it was happening, I was safe in His hands.

I sang the anesthesiologist a few lines to Psalm 23 and we talked about church for a bit. It took them a few tries to find my veins which are typically good but from having to fast water I guess, it was affected. They wheeled me away from sweet hubby and on the operating table I said prayers while the doctors were asking me about where I wanted to “go away to” and of course I enlightened them with my cabin on a mountain scene, haha.

I did not take too well to the oxygen mask and had them hover it over my face instead, but soon enough I drifted to sleep and awoke thanking God I was alive. All of us who have undergone anything like this out of our hands can say, it reminds you just how fragile life is.

I wake up every day thankful, but this was another level of gratitude and focus within myself, which He has been dealing with me about on a daily basis. Because it’s easy to get locked in on the outside world and all the problems, which can suck the life out of the one He has given us. Not that we aren’t available and giving. That’s not what I mean.

Just making proper time to reflect and feed my own spirit with Truth, rather than always trying to find it somewhere else. The best days I have had lately are in the stillness with my Bible open, dogs asleep beside me, and the fire crackle in the background.

It’s the little things like that. Or like the nurse giving me her personal gallbladder experience. Or my hubs taking care of me and sleeping by my side on the couch since our bed is up too high. It’s the little things like people checking in, or knowing my dog is taken care of. Chloe is here, but Mr. Judah would have yanked me down the hill!

I think it’s about time for a nap. I may read some scriptures first, or after. To all who have lifted me up in your prayers, thank you.

I ask that you lift up my sister in Christ and pastor’s wife as she will be undergoing the same surgery tomorrow. Ask the Lord to cover her as she has had to undergo other health things with it, and we know and trust God, but still ask Him to keep his hands upon her and watch and guide the doctors.

Talk soon!

destined for pruning

I’ve been trimming plants, overhauling a couple entirely. One long green shoot is flowing out one side of a large mug, and I have to educate myself on whether to completely get rid of the dead parts around it or let the living part grow next to it.

Plants remind me a lot of us. They need care and do a lot when in the right environment, but they still need an outside source to thrive. I am much like the plants I have been tending to lately, with pieces I see that would make Abba proud, and want to keep, and others not so much.

Since I am having surgery tomorrow and taking the next couple weeks off, I have been preparing myself for this time of reflection, rest and stillness upon me.

I pray as I learn to read the Bible slower and more methodically, thoughtfully, and with a meatier appetite that whatever the Lord would show me I can fully well take in and digest. I don’t want to just hear Him; I want to know Him!

I wanted to share something with you I have listened to over and over again lately. I can’t seem to get enough of learning how to truly be meek. Of course, this cannot be done without the Holy Spirit’s help. If you have time, I encourage you to listen below to dear E. Elliot.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFnMLUUfoLY&w=560&h=315]

Do you have a message on your heart lately? I’d love if you shared below!


“I went back to my original intent and now it all makes sense. Do you hear that? It’s the sound of peace.” #writer #life #community

I went back to my original intent with everything and now it all makes sense. Can you hear that? It’s the sound of peace. The sound of disclarity fleeing, life, vibrant and blowing.

All the things I tried to make it fell through, and I nearly lost my joy in a process of trying to create something deep, fulfilling and relational into an oiled, monetized machine.

And the pictures looked pretty but I lost community.

But it’s okay because all this only happened after I took two-year Sabbatical from regular writing on a blog, and I had to have that gap to not only heal from some things but also realize that I do hear from the Holy Spirit, I just had to learn He is ever so quiet and gentle compared to the clamoring world with all it “has to offer”.

What is the verse again? I don’t want to gain an entire world of things I don’t need and lose my soul in the process.

My original intent when blogging online in 2015 was to write through hard times because my husband had found a door open to his dream job, and yet I became wildly depressed.

It was no one’s fault, but I call it my wilderness experience where my family and I were not close as we are now, I was very much isolated while raising young children, but deep in my core I knew they needed to know Jesus, so I homeschooled and blogged, posting the photos I thought at the time to be extravagant.

And through this journal of hard days where I felt spiritually and emotionally pained yet numb, the darkness still did not win because I was pointed into the direction of a community I never would have thought could be mine, nor me a part of it.

This online place started here at WordPress as cookwipesweep.com and it morphed into faithadventures.me and then I learned I did not have what it took to mold my blog into spectacular for what my pocketbook could shovel out, so I eventually caved to another host only later to learn an invaluable lesson:

I beheld simplicity in the palms of my hands. But over time, I saw people transform what they loved into a career.

“Can I do that?”

I waded between waters. I tried this and tried that. No one was lost on my blog except me, because I became greedy trying to be someone I was not.

I traded what I had for an upgrade that offered everything, everything that is, except for tools of interaction.

The new shiny oiled blog was pristine but offered little to no customer service, and no simple options for others to participate, which is what a writing community thrives on.

For the memo, if you use Wix, that is great. It just didn’t fulfill for me.

Allow me to go on a writer-rant for a sec…

We know we don’t know it all.

We don’t have to undergo lectures on this.

We just want to get the words out because it’s how we process our thinking, so it only sounds like overthinking if we try to say it to you verbally rather than write it down (unless you are a speaker who writes – put your hand down, haha), because if we wrote it down first, we could edit it. Then you’d get the final draft, slimmed down, suited to your timetable.

A writer’s community, especially a blogger one, is one of slow-living-people. Yes, we know YouTube is all the rage. I just watched gardening videos earlier. I had to. I am educating myself.

We know we are a visual people and that statistics say the attention span of a human has shrunken down significantly from where it was prior to Netflix. Thank the Lord we left that land years ago…

We know this, but we do not fit the mold. We would rather take the road less traveled in a good book, or read a blog post, though video is nice at times for other reasons, and maybe yes–we want to garden.

Obviously, we are not all the same. I hope you can tell I am merely trying to make a point tonight. My point, if not made clear yet is that all the bells and whistles of upgrades and changes for me personally, turned out to not be worth the headache.

Come to find out, God had already given me everything I needed. I was so desperate to go back to “original” I decided for now not to even upgrade to a dot com. Maybe soon. But all this back and forth and changing bios/photos and sites/names has taught me I get too rushed, and I am quick to assume I have to do something.

At the beginning of blogging in 2015 I mentioned I loved to experiment. I was always testing graphics, links, wording and more. Well, this word scientist has finally come to this conclusion in December of 2022. It is that some things are best left alone.

Some things just require you to show up.

Just show up and let God do the rest.

I am only speaking for myself and my convictions. It’s not as if I did nothing in between. There were novels written, places gone, things enjoyed, tears shed…

And had I been called to Sabbtical away from the blog and did it right, I believe I would be on here telling a different story. Instead, during my blog leave, I spent uncalculable amounts of energy chasing the wind.

So remember in life, all that glitters isn’t gold.

Cherish the people God has put in your path, and like me, if He tells you to take a break, obey. But when you come back if He gives the go, don’t try to be someone you are not. Don’t get distracted by things that will only weigh you down.

Don’t lose your joy and mind over trying to keep up with the pace of the world. As a believer in Christ, a follower now, I can’t believe I fell for that trap. Yes, I am still writing books slowly, but chasing monetization and networking opportunities was too much.

Many things that were good and good for me, looking back, were things I never made happen but simply the providence of God. He really does know what we need.

I went back to my original intent tonight and now everything makes sense. Do you hear that? It’s the sound of peace.