“What is this rest toward which my heart yearns?” The Sabbath points to the day when God will remove all our restlessness and when He will welcome us into His eternal rest.”R C SPROUL / GROWING IN HOLINESS
Yesterday we moved our entire living room around. If you know me at all, you know I love light and nature, so windows are a big deal. If there is something to take a photo of, I’m on it. Staring out the window, I consider God’s majesty. Daily, I am in awe of His handiwork and mercy on our lives.
To me, this is an act of worship–one of my favorite ways, in fact. Using my mind to glorify my Maker. Normally, I prefer to ponder and create, or sing or pray while cleaning. But it was a snow day, and I was feeling frisky. I knew the following week would, Lord willing, behold changes restlessness would give birth to.
My internals came alive in one fell swoop. “Do everything you can to prepare, and while you’re at it, renovate the house.” Because yes–I not only deep cleaned, but some things I had been putting off finally unfolded as if the whole time *this* was the perfect day for it.
My husband had a brilliant idea that I tried to claim as my own when we first moved into the cozy cottage-cabin, as we call it. He suggested we swing the couch around once we moved the fireplace across the room against an opposite wall. We had tossed up the idea before but assumed it would be too much for the entry as soon as you opened the door.
Mind you, our space is c-o-z-y. It’s perfect for us. I’ve been watching Tiny Home episodes off and on lately to get new ideas for organizing small spaces. It blows my mind the things I would never think of doing, but that work great, and some of which, I hope to try one day.
It matters how we manage what we’re given. That’s another topic for another day; something I’ve been studying on, and hope to share when the Lord allows. Obviously, I am no expert and also want to practice what I am saying first, though I realize my best might seem a morsel to some. He knows the density of my mustard seed–He made it!
Anywho. Having a beloved sectional in such a cozy space can be challenging. So here I was thinking only the one way would suffice, but Matt was certain I would like this other design better.
I had been feeling restless for a while, desiring change, and the last time we felt this way we only wound up talking about it, then running out of time. I was determined to not let that happen again. We had an hour or two at our disposal and I wanted to make it count.
I was worried not facing both the windows would annoy me, but it turns out the other aspects were so great, it didn’t matter, and technically, the smaller window was to anyone’s right who now sat on the flipped couch. Everyone in the family loved it, even my sister who popped in for a second, agreed.
I can’t imagine going back to the way it was before. The moral of this story is that we are sometimes restless and desire change. Most times, we must realize this restlessness is not for no reason.
The Lord gave us bodily signals that go off for a reason. Sometimes I think our bodies know something is going on before we may want to admit it. In any case, I had been feeling restless for quite some time but could not pin-point which way Father wanted me to go.
Sometimes, I put so much pressure on myself to try and figure things out, when the fact of the matter is, I failed to realize I forgot what trust was all about.
Wow, oh wow.
The person who adored faith and named a blog after it?
It’s okay. It’s okay to realize anxiety and frustration and fear and resentment and a lot of other ugly things can happen over time with a slow downgrade down a slope of worry.
How had I let my brain get to this point? It’s not like I set out to sit, stand or walk while my mind attempted to hold up weights only God intended to carry. Worry is sin because it misses the mark of what He wants us to do with our minds. When we go against how He created us to function, we’re going to feel it somewhere.
And I did. So, as my story seems to go, I am back to prioritizing living at the pace He created me for, and I just have to let go of what others might think–namely my own high standards for myself which I only and forever should hold up to God’s. Daily mercy is needed.
So, about that restlessness. I am thankful for the changes taking place. They are not only external ones but internal. The kinds you pray about for years and when you finally start to see growth, you almost want to rub your weary eyes.
But no matter what changes we undergo here in the temporal or even how satisfactory they seem it will always feel a bit like unfinished business.
This is on purpose! We were made for Christ–we were made to exist with Him eternally! But one day, we will actually see Him as He really is. We will see Him face to face.
And when that happens, we will be entering into His rest, truly and wholly, and will not even be able to imagine going back to the ways things were before. Before, you know, when every waking minute we yearned for rest that doesn’t seem so short-lived and yearned for the “rest” of the story.
We have a hope where we get to wake up looking forward to what the day might bring and must understand trust is a thing not made of jewels this side of Heaven.
I would like to imagine the journey of trust is one in the trenches, feet muddied and marred, learning the best routes so we can share them with others along our way to glory. So, in our restlessness, in the changes that may come, in the waiting or the finally unfolding, let us remember it is all with purpose as we live for Him.
May the void we feel today as we yearn to see Him face to face never be attempted to be filled by any other. Embrace the internal pain of being engaged to One you love but cannot yet behold entirely. It is this, which is a treasure. It is this, that proves our faith is real.
“…but just as it is written, “Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, And which have not entered the heart of man, All that God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinth. 2:9 nasb1995
It will all be worth it and entirely better than we can fathom.
No matter what news you may be facing today, hold onto the Hope of eternity with Christ Jesus. And if you don’t know who He is, know you were made on purpose by a God who loves you, and you can call to Him for salvation of your soul. That’s just the beginning…
“I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’
Bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the ends of the earth—
everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.”
– Isaiah 43:6-7
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7 thoughts on “restlessness with a reason”
Just wow! Love this post for a lot of reasons. First, tiny spaces are my jam (we’ve lived in 399 sq ft for 3 years!) and the profound wisdom written in this essay! Love you Megs.
I miss you! Okay, there–I said it lol. We must meet up one day, just please lol. Yes, I am really into learning about them, I think because I keep finding that less is more in life. Have a great weekend dear!
Private message your new mail address to me please. ❤️
I got you on FB!
Your living room looks so cozy! Your dogs surely seem to like it! You inspire me. My home really needs a complete indoor renovation, namely getting rid of all the clutter and designing a cozy, welcoming place. It’s just a little hard to do when so many live here. (6 adults and one 6 yr old) 🙂 We just need to get our act together and distribute jobs, etc. Still, we do get along surprisingly well. I think it’s because we know love is the most important thing. Blessings to you, Meg! xo
Gayl, thank you! It took me until this last year to truly embrace finding my style in my own way. I was so used to living with bare walls because of the military life or just moving in general but I feel like my mindset has changed where I would rather live all in no matter how short or long. It def makes me happy and it’s fun to find little things for good deals, like the mini bird cage I found at the Goodwill for $3, that matched the other stuff. That is awesome you all live together with such love. It is hard for many to do, so that is special! Bless you too!